The Constant Christmas Question

One thing most parents would agree on, as December makes its way onto the calendar, is that Christmas is a time when children are the focus of most families' lives. We may plan many activities throughout the holiday season, but Christmas itself must be a joyous holiday for our kids. By early in the season, most parents have a pretty good idea what their kids want Santa to bring them, when he makes his Christmas Eve stop at their homes. Children are bombarded with TV commercials and advertising, convincing them, by early autumn, what they must find under the Christmas tree, in order to have a joyful holiday. And, of course, parents want to provide that magic which they know will light up their kids' eyes, as the gift-wrap disappears from those packages under the tree, and those treasures are exposed. To accomplish this, most parents fret for weeks and months about their ability to find every gift on their childrens' lists. But a lot of parents also feel pressure from other parents to help Santa provide a great pile of gifts for their kids on Christmas morning. As parents and kids talk, they share their Christmas stories, recounting their holidays. Parents, whether they admit it or not, want their efforts at Christmas to be envied by others, so many may overspend on their children as a way of showing off for their peers. Many family psychologists feel that most parents place too much emphasis on the wrong aspects of Christmas-the toys and goodies their children receive-than on the feelings those parents are really attempting engender with their gift-giving. Most families are so busy, today, that parental guilt over being absent so much is epidemic. So, lots of moms and dads find themselves substituting material things for contact. Perhaps if, instead of rushing off to the store for that extra doll or video-game, parents took that time and spent it reading or playing with their children, they'd find it much more valuable and effective, in making their children happy. When January rolls around, a lot of the new toys have been abandoned, to be forgotten. But a few moments with Mom and Dad could provide a permanent, happy memory that can never be replaced.